My terrible awful....

I recently got really curious and made a phone call to my mom--asking her what on earth posessed her to do something so crazy, hilarious, outrageous, terrible and awful 20 years ago. I guess I never thought my mom was a lunatic (and I mean that with a very loving tone) until I shared exactly what happened that crisp fall morning with Ashley and Emily. Let's just say threats of me repeating the "Terrible Awful" has my girls worried, concerned, and ready to take action. Plus they think their Grandma is C R A Z Y! Which I've known all along. Can you say 12 kids?

I remember it perfectly--it was the fall of 1987. My older sister, Janalee, was thinking of a creative way to ask her high school sweetheart, Kelly Ercanbrack, to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. So naturally, my mom and her "sidekick" decided to dress up as army men, go to the high school, pull Ercanbrack out of class, and embarrass him until he agreed to go to the dance with Janalee. So far, not so bad, right? Perhaps a little odd. But it's Payson High. And I'm sure the chemistry teacher preferred the distraction to teaching.

I can't remember all the details about what happened next, but I remember enough. I blame some of the fuzziness on PTSD (Post Traumatic Sophomore Disorder.) My sophomore year was for lack of a better word--awkward. Sophomore yearbook pictures were taken two days after I had my wisdom teeth removed. Yep, I looked like a bruised chipmunk in a really rad Esprit shirt buttoned all the way to the top, with some kind of short permed bob and really weird bangs. Anyway, at some point on that morning I was pulling in to the south parking lot of Payson High. I'm pretty sure I was with Teresa Moore. Possibly Monica Broadbent. When out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom exiting the doors. Dressed in army clothes. At that point, I wasn't worried. I changed directions and headed for different doors and pretended I didn't see her. And then--I heard it. Her high pitched squealing voice. If any of my sisters are reading this, you know what I'm talking about. She's squealing my name, and she's running towards me, arms flailing--her "sidekick" is with her. I turned my head the other way, thinking, "This can't be happening." She managed to catch up to me, nearly out of breath. And then she said, "Guess what we just did? Guess, guess?" I nervously replied (complete with red face and splotchy neck), "Ummmm, you signed yourself up for the ROTC?" And then she said the worst thing an already awkward, shy and insecure sophomore would ever want to hear...."We just asked TJ Johnson to Sadie Hawkins for you! And look, I've already been to the VF factory outlet and bought you these really cool, matching, yellow sweatshirts." I felt like I was in a slow motion movie. "YOU DID WHAT?! TJ JOHNSON?! AND YOU BOUGHT ME MATCHING GOLD SWEATSHIRTS? I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GO TO SADIES!" And of course she was so excited...and I was in shock. Still am to this day. I don't think I ever questioned her, just summed it up to her craziness.

Luckily I was able to find a great group of girls and went to the dance and we had a great time. And in a way, I feel like I need to thank my mom for forcing me out of my shell that sophomore year. To this day, I'm not sure if TJ Johnson even knows that I didn't plan to ask him (and definitely not in that way). TJ, if you're reading this post, it was all my mom's idea.

I did think you were cute, though.

I've often wondered about the moral to this traumatic moment--and now I know. I have teenage daughters of my own. They have insecurities just like every other teenage girl. But being the loving mother that I am, I've laid down the law--if they don't ask someone to the "Sadie Hawkins" dance next month, their crazy Grandma just might do it for them.

And I might go as her side kick.